Log #098 – Redacted Entry

Report by Agent Pines

Log #100 – North Gate

Report by Agent Pines

Bison parade blocked incoming staff for 17 minutes. No injuries, but one badge chewed. Incident classified as ███████.

Log #101 – Firehole River

Report by Agent Drift

Thermal readings elevated by 2.3°F at sunrise. Otter observed using thermos as flotation device.

Log #102 – Mammoth Mailroom

Report by Agent Ember

Envelope addressed to “Unit 7-B, Secret Bunker.” No return address. Contained a single pinecone and sticky note: "YOU’RE LATE".

Log #103 – Lamar Valley

Report by Agent Fawn

Field team observed coyote “howling” at moonless sky. Sound analysis: 47% coyote, 53% “unknown.”

Log #104 – Old Faithful Geyser

Report by Agent Glint

Geyser erupted at 7:47 am. Water plume formed distinct question mark shape. Visitor photos confiscated.

Log #105 – Blacktail Plateau

Report by Agent Cinder

Unscheduled fog rolled in at 2:21 pm. Elk herd seen moving in single file. Agent Hollow claims it was “for dramatic effect.”

Log #106 – Tower Junction

Report by Agent Tern

Ravens gathered on road sign spelling “TURN BACK” in feathers. Maintenance crew unimpressed.

Log #107 – Norris Geyser Basin

Report by Agent Soot

Steam vent “whistled” Psalm 23 melody. No audio recording found. Data labeled ████████.

Log #108 – Bechler Meadows

Report by Agent Hollow

Mudpot overflow reported at 3:16 pm. Field boots recovered, left in place as “offering.”

Log #109 – Gardiner Bridge

Report by Agent Echo

Bear tracks discovered on bridge railing. Sighting logged as “possibly upright.” Agent Wren requested further investigation.

Log #110 – Canyon Village

Report by Agent Flint

All vending machines dispensed only grape soda. Suspected Syndicate tampering.

Log #111 – Lake Hotel

Report by Agent Sable

Night audit reports room keys missing. Found in bison hoofprint at front steps. Hotel manager unimpressed.

Log #112 – Slough Creek

Report by Agent Wren

Unattended fishing pole landed a 22” cutthroat. Trout released unharmed. Pole still missing.

Log #113 – West Thumb

Report by Agent Quill

Hot spring glowed blue after sunset. Instrument readings normal. Labeled “Lantern event” for internal tracking.

Log #114 – Hayden Valley

Report by Agent Drift

Entire herd of pronghorn facing east at dawn. Ranger stated “it happens sometimes.”

Log #115 – Yellowstone River

Report by Agent Ember

Logbook fell into river, floated upstream. Retrieved by otter, returned to Agent Cinder.

Log #116 – Pelican Creek

Report by Agent Fawn

Pelicans absent all morning. Reappeared at 11:11 am in double formation. Coyote seen watching.

Log #117 – Dunraven Pass

Report by Agent Pines

Lost hiker found wandering with hand-drawn map labeled “Unit 7-B Emergency Route.” Map confiscated for review.

Log #118 – Fishing Bridge

Report by Agent Echo

Multiple fishing lures tangled in geometric pattern. Pattern diagrammed as “possible warning.”

Log #119 – Old Faithful Lodge

Report by Agent Soot

Fire alarm triggered by camp stove. No fire. Only evidence: single marshmallow, slightly toasted, found on stovetop.

Log #120 – South Entrance

Report by Agent Glint

Entrance sign defaced. Graffiti: “SYNDICATE RULES” in peanut butter. Incident cleaned by 0600 hours.

Log #121 – Soda Butte

Report by Agent Hollow

All field radios played same static message at 2:17 am: ████████.

Log #122 – Yellowstone Lake

Report by Agent Tern

Lake surface glassy despite strong winds. Reflected sky “brighter than daylight.” Team sunglasses required.

Log #123 – West Entrance

Report by Agent Fawn

Incoming vehicle inspection revealed raccoon inside engine bay. Driver unfazed, offered him a cracker. Raccoon accepted.

Log #124 – Gibbon Falls

Report by Agent Quill

Team spotted stone cairns arranged as spiral. Local geology crew claims “not their style.”

Log #125 – Norris Campground

Report by Agent Pines

Campsite 11B: All food untouched, except for a single missing s’more. Suspect: "SMORES BANDIT".

Log #126 – Lamar Ranger Station

Report by Agent Soot

Station coffee machine dispensed only hot water. Suspected sabotage. Note found: "TRY TEA".

Log #127 – Upper Geyser Basin

Report by Agent Flint

Spotted red fox at edge of runoff. Fox “winked” at agent before disappearing into steam.

Log #128 – Northeast Entrance

Report by Agent Cinder

Raven perched atop entrance arch at sunset. Cawed three times, then dropped a pinecone. Local superstition triggered emergency candle-lighting.

Log #129 – Washburn Hot Springs

Report by Agent Wren

All field manuals damp. Pages rearranged in order matching Psalm 42. Suspect: geothermal humidity or Syndicate mischief?

Log #130 – Yellowstone Picnic Area

Report by Junior Agent Rook

Bison attempted to sample lunch. Rook relocated to Observation Bunker “until further notice.”

Log #131 – Fairy Falls

Report by Agent Tern

Unattended backpack discovered. Contained one lantern slip and three chocolate wrappers. Lantern slip text unreadable (damp).

Log #132 – Obsidian Cliff

Report by Agent Glint

Rockslide during routine survey. No injuries, but one field notebook returned, pages sealed with pine resin.

Log #133 – Grant Village Dock

Report by Agent Echo

Paddleboat found adrift, tied with rope spelling “HELLO.” Suspect prank, or coded greeting.

Log #134 – Madison Junction

Report by Agent Fawn

Observed thermal vent emitting “scent of cinnamon.” Scent dissipated when marshmallows introduced.

Log #135 – Hidden Falls

Report by Agent Quill

Waterfall split into two separate streams at dawn. Recon photo blurred; camera later recovered from raccoon nest.

Log #136 – Tower Fall

Report by Agent Drift

Rainbow at waterfall “persisted” for 49 minutes. Documented with 11 photos. Team recommends routine rainbow surveillance.

Log #137 – Black Sand Basin

Report by Agent Flint

Gloves vanished from kit bag. Found at trailhead arranged in spiral. Spiral glowed faintly at dusk.

Log #138 – Old Faithful Dining Room

Report by Agent Pines

Emergency PA system broadcast “Happy Birthday” in slow motion. Only one guest present; it was not their birthday.

Log #139 – Norris Museum

Report by Agent Sable

Map exhibit replaced by illustrated raccoon heist plan. Map “accidentally” shredded during retrieval.

Log #140 – Lower Falls Overlook

Report by Agent Tern

Field binoculars smeared with honey. View obscured except for clear patch shaped like lantern flame.

Log #141 – Dunraven Trailhead

Report by Agent Glint

Trail marker upside down at sunrise. Guest photos show marker upright 30 minutes prior.

Log #142 – Geyser Grill

Report by Agent Cinder

Cash register produced only nickels. Suspected coin exchange “operation.” Register later fixed by guest named “Soot.”

Log #143 – Grand Prismatic

Report by Agent Echo

Observed flash of green light at 4:47 pm. Guest claims it was “the world’s biggest emerald.” Official denial issued.

Log #144 – Lamar River Bridge

Report by Junior Agent Sprout

Agent fell in river. Retrieved by passing park ranger. Equipment report: “Wet, but functional.”

Log #145 – Pelican Valley

Report by Agent Wren

Footprints of unknown animal followed for 0.6 miles. Trail ended in circle of wildflowers.

Log #146 – Roosevelt Lodge

Report by Agent Fawn

Ice cream delivery intercepted by chipmunk. Security footage: “abnormally large” tail and “extreme confidence.”

Log #147 – Indian Creek Campground

Report by Agent Pines

Campfire logs stacked into pyramid overnight. Campers denied involvement. Suspect “friendly” bear.

Log #148 – Fountain Paint Pots

Report by Agent Ember

Observed mud bubble spelling out “HI.” Witnesses confirmed. Bubble burst immediately after.

Log #149 – Mud Volcano

Report by Agent Hollow

Camera flash failed repeatedly near main vent. Agent Quill claims “photosensitive gas.”

Log #150 – Mammoth Terrace

Report by Agent Quill

Thermal patterns mapped at midnight. Pattern resembled Unit 7-B sigil. Data archived, access restricted.

Log #151 – South Rim Trail

Report by Agent Cinder

Raccoon sighted carrying field manual. Recovered: pages dog-eared but otherwise intact.

Log #152 – Yellowstone Lake Marina

Report by Agent Drift

Boat returned with “extra” life jacket and single sunflower seed on seat.

Log #153 – Blacktail Ponds

Report by Agent Soot

Unexplained singing from willow grove. Recording produced only static. “Wren’s voice,” claims Agent Fawn.

Log #154 – Norris Geyser Dorms

Report by Agent Tern

Every dorm door tagged with chalk raccoon face. All tags washed away by morning rain.

Log #155 – Yellowstone Museum

Report by Agent Pines

Guestbook signed “Director P.” twenty-three times. Handwriting analysis pending.

Log #156 – East Gate

Report by Agent Fawn

Gate arm stuck in raised position for exactly 7 minutes. No known vehicle passage recorded.

Log #157 – Sylvan Pass

Report by Agent Glint

All weather data instruments lost power at 4:11 am. Restored at sunrise.

Log #158 – Gardiner General Store

Report by Agent Flint

All “Yellowstone” branded mugs stacked in pyramid. Top mug inscribed “FOR FIELD USE ONLY.”

Log #159 – Lower Geyser Basin

Report by Agent Quill

Observed bison herd standing in semi-circle around dormant geyser. No aggression, just... waiting.

Log #160 – Grant Village Rec Room

Report by Intern Moss

All ping pong balls missing. Recovered under couch—each marked with tiny pawprint.

Log #161 – Specimen Ridge

Report by Agent Drift

Sample bag lost, recovered four days later in perfect condition—smelled faintly of cinnamon.

Log #162 – Blacktail Creek

Report by Agent Sable

Camera trap caught only raccoon tail in frame. Rest of image blurred by “unexplained phenomenon.”

Log #163 – Obsidian Creek

Report by Agent Soot

Stream ran warm for six hours. Testing revealed nothing unusual. Team recommends further study in fall.

Log #164 – Mount Washburn Lookout

Report by Agent Wren

“Flash” seen at summit. Description: “Like lightning, but silent.” Camera photos: all overexposed.

Log #165 – Midway Geyser Basin

Report by Agent Ember

Observed white bison on opposite shore. Disappeared before photo could be taken. Reported as “possible omen.”

Log #166 – Gibbon Meadows

Report by Agent Pines

Field tent collapsed during still night. Pegs reinserted in shape of raccoon face. No prints found.

Log #167 – Swan Lake Flats

Report by Agent Glint

Mute swan appeared at dusk. Tagged, but number unreadable. Swan not seen before or since.

Log #168 – Pelican Roost

Report by Agent Drift

Observed flock arranged in spiral. Group dispersed instantly when Agent Tern approached.

Log #169 – Yellowstone River Bridge

Report by Agent Flint

All field radios picked up “static lullaby” at 1:12 am. Audio file redacted by Director Pines.

Log #170 – Firehole Falls

Report by Agent Cinder

Fireflies appeared en masse, spelling “UNIT” in the darkness. No photos available.

Log #171 – Old Faithful Boardwalk

Report by Agent Echo

Boardwalk planks arranged to creak in melody of “Amazing Grace.” Guests “unsettled.”

Log #172 – East Entrance

Report by Agent Tern

Signage missing “N” in Yellowstone. “YELLOWSTO E” painted in mud below.

Log #173 – Slough Creek Campsite

Report by Agent Pines

Entire campsite packed and cleaned by unknown party. “Thank you” written in pebbles.

Log #174 – Soda Butte Overlook

Report by Agent Sable

Viewfinder lens covered in grape jelly. No wildlife visible.

Log #175 – Artist Point

Report by Junior Agent Rook

All paint tubes missing from field kit. Kit returned full of sunflower seeds two hours later.

Log #176 – Geyser Basin Trail

Report by Agent Fawn

Unusual frost pattern observed on all metal surfaces. Pattern resembled lantern slip code. Recorded and archived.

Log #177 – Bridge Bay Dock

Report by Agent Quill

Floating dock left untied overnight, found perfectly aligned by sunrise. No footprints detected.

Log #178 – Mammoth Hot Springs Hotel

Report by Agent Pines

Lobby piano played by unseen hand at 4:01 am. Security camera feed: static. Melody: ████████.

Log #179 – Uncle Tom’s Trail

Report by Agent Soot

Trail steps dusted with blue chalk. Pawprints show up only under UV light.

Log #180 – Hayden Valley

Report by Agent Echo

Heard single wolf howl echoed three times. Sound analysis “inconclusive.”

Log #181 – Lake Overlook

Report by Agent Drift

Team photo appeared with unknown figure in background. Figure vanished upon digital zoom.

Log #182 – Soda Butte Trail

Report by Agent Hollow

Lost whistle found, perfectly clean, on trail marker “7B.”

Log #183 – Cooke City Highway

Report by Agent Pines

Car encountered parade of ground squirrels. Caused six-minute delay. “Well-organized,” notes driver.

Log #184 – Midway Basin

Report by Intern Moss

All lunchboxes swapped. Each agent’s box now contains only crackers and pine needles.

Log #185 – Eagle Peak

Report by Agent Flint

Snow patch formed cross shape. Faded before documentation possible.

Log #186 – Wapiti Lake Trail

Report by Agent Quill

Heard faint voice singing psalmic verse at noon. No source located. Team recommends field audio analysis.

Log #187 – Pelican Creek Cabin

Report by Agent Ember

Candle burned blue for three hours. No other unusual phenomena recorded.

Log #188 – Firehole Lake Drive

Report by Agent Sable

Unexplained tire tracks. Analysis: “not bison, not human, not raccoon.”

Log #189 – Lamar Bison Range

Report by Agent Drift

Bison herd “lined up” at fence line. Watched agents in silence for ten minutes. Incident classified as “uneventful, but weird.”

Log #190 – Gibbon River

Report by Agent Pines

River ran backwards for 30 seconds. Only witnessed by Agent Rook. “Probably nothing,” says Agent Pines.

Log #191 – Old Faithful Pathway

Report by Agent Tern

Lantern slip discovered wedged in path sign. Contents illegible. Delivered to fire ring site.

Log #192 – Canyon Store

Report by Agent Ember

All register receipts replaced by slips reading “Unit 7-B, you know what you did.”

Log #193 – Gardiner High

Report by Agent Glint

All lockers stuck shut. Only item accessible: field notebook signed “Agent Wren.”

Log #194 – Storm Point Trail

Report by Agent Soot

Clouds parted in shape of lantern for seven seconds at noon. Guests unaware.

Log #195 – Buffalo Ford

Report by Agent Echo

Observed fox carrying field radio in mouth. Fox disappeared into willow thicket; radio later found in perfect working order.

Log #196 – Norris Restrooms

Report by Agent Sable

All soap replaced with orange-scented candle wax. “Unexpectedly pleasant,” reports Agent Cinder.

Log #197 – West Thumb Parking

Report by Agent Pines

All parking spaces outlined with acorns. Pattern reviewed for coded message—no clear result.

Log #198 – East Entrance Bunker

Report by Agent Drift

Backup generator started itself at 1:07 am. Power grid logs show “no activity.”

Log #199 – Steamboat Geyser

Report by Agent Flint

Geyser dormant, then erupted precisely as Agent Quill began reading Psalm 27. Coincidence or not—review requested.

Log #500 – Washburn Fire Lookout

Report by Agent Fawn

Fire lookout’s journal left open to last page. Single phrase: "THE FLAME WAITS".

Log #501 – Cave Access 4

Entry incomplete.

█████████████████████████████████

Log #502 – Trout Lake

Report by Agent Drift

Field boots disappeared. Returned at dusk, soaked and stuffed with ███████.

Log #503 – Upper Falls

Report by Agent Hollow

Team found all trail signs rearranged to spell “HI ROOK.” Suspect: Junior Agent Rook or wind.

Log #504 – Soda Butte Creek

Report by Agent Tern

Heard whistling. Discovered bison harmonizing with unknown melody. Recordings ████████.

Log #505 – Norris Museum

Report by Agent Ember

Display case fogged from inside. Wrote “EMBER WAS HERE” on glass. Director Pines unimpressed.

Log #506 – Dunraven Switchbacks

Report by Agent Glint

Sunglasses missing. Later spotted on raven’s beak. Raven “would not negotiate.”

Log #507 – Fountain Flats

Report by Intern Moss

Entire tent zipped shut from inside. Agents woke up outside. Suspect: prank or “advanced Syndicate tactics.”

Log #508 – Lamar Valley

Report by Agent Pines

Coyotes howled “happy birthday” at midnight. Mystery birthday person unknown. Cake found at site: █████.

Log #509 – Mammoth Pub

Report by Agent Flint

All pool cues replaced with hiking poles. Junior Agent Sprout claims “logistical improvement.”

Log #510 – Fishing Bridge

Report by Agent Soot

Field radio only plays “Yakety Sax” after sunset. Director Pines investigating possible musical haunting.

Log #511 – Obsidian Cliff

Report by Agent Sable

All obsidian samples stacked into pyramid. Top stone engraved with ██████.

Log #512 – Grant Village Kitchen

Report by Agent Ember

Bread vanished from kitchen. Returned as toast. Toast bore Unit 7-B sigil. Agent Fawn claims “wasn’t me.”

Log #513 – Hayden Valley

Report by Agent Rook

Reported pronghorn with “punk haircut.” Agent Drift believes it’s seasonal. Rook suspects Syndicate stylist.

Log #514 – Wraith Falls

Report by Agent Fawn

Shadow crossed trail at 3:01 am. Camera malfunctioned. Memory card contained only ██████.

Log #515 – Norris Campground

Report by Agent Pines

All tent ropes tied in knots spelling “DRIFT.” Agent Drift “has no memory.”

Log #516 – Blacktail Creek

Report by Agent Soot

Discovered footprints “walking on water.” Photos returned blank. Raccoon spotted watching from shore.

Log #517 – Slough Creek

Report by Agent Wren

Every lantern slip read “Knock knock.” Agent Wren “not amused.” Director Pines suspects Syndicate.

Log #518 – South Entrance

Report by Agent Glint

Sign altered: “Welcome to YELLOWSTOAST National Park.” All field bread later missing.

Log #519 – Tower Junction

Report by Agent Cinder

Ravens spelled out “SOOT LIVES” in gravel. Soot denies involvement but “laughed suspiciously.”

Log #520 – Shoshone Lake

Report by Agent Echo

Echoes repeated “ROOK ROOK ROOK.” Suspect: field joke or sentient shoreline.

Log #521 – Madison River

Report by Agent Flint

Team’s thermos contents replaced with grape jelly. Suspect prankster: Agent Quill or raccoon.

Log #522 – Grant Marina

Report by Intern Moss

Boat registration stickers changed to “UNIT 7-B.” All boats now “official.” Moss denies involvement.

Log #523 – Bison Range

Report by Agent Ember

Bison observed forming question mark shape. Team puzzled. “Maybe they’re trying to tell us something,” says Agent Pines.

Log #524 – Pelican Creek

Report by Agent Drift

Pelicans absent. Later returned “singing” in chorus. Recordings labeled ██████.

Log #525 – Obsidian Creek

Report by Agent Quill

Field pencils left overnight, returned sharpened and rearranged to spell “SOOT.”

Log #526 – Mud Volcano

Report by Agent Tern

Mud erupted in shape of lantern. Lasted four seconds. Agent Ember claims “not me this time.”

Log #527 – Lake Butte Overlook

Report by Agent Flint

Binoculars showed only the number “7” for two minutes. Team recommends recalibration. Wren took notes.

Log #528 – Blacktail Plateau

Report by Junior Agent Rook

Field guide replaced by “How To Be An Agent.” Suspect: Intern Moss. Advice on page one: “Bring snacks.”

Log #529 – Firehole Lake

Report by Agent Cinder

Fireflies arranged into shape of paw print. Pinecone placed in center. “Classic Syndicate,” says Sable.

Log #530 – Mammoth Hot Springs

Report by Agent Sable

All field notes rewritten in mirror handwriting. Team blames Agent Glint’s sunglasses.

Log #531 – Tower Fall Trail

Report by Agent Fawn

Footprints found facing both directions. “Quantum bear?” theorizes Pines. Fawn requests second opinion.

Log #532 – Gardiner General Store

Report by Agent Quill

Every receipt read “ROOK 4 DIRECTOR.” Rook denies campaign. Pines “investigating.”

Log #533 – Gibbon River

Report by Agent Echo

Heard distant laughter. Sound file corrupted except for the words: ██████.

Log #534 – Indian Creek

Report by Agent Ember

Campfire logs arranged in circle. Center log engraved “Unit 7-B.” Drift denies whittling.

Log #535 – Buffalo Ford

Report by Agent Flint

Bison calf “saluted” field team. Wren claims “he does that every Wednesday.”

Log #536 – Specimen Ridge

Report by Agent Hollow

All field hats upside down at sunrise. Suspect: Intern Moss. Moss “has no comment.”

Log #537 – Madison Junction

Report by Agent Tern

Observed squirrel “guarding” acorn stash. Squirrel wore miniature badge. Badge confiscated: █████.

Log #538 – Bridge Bay Marina

Report by Agent Wren

Paddleboat left ashore. Note taped to oar: “DO NOT LET SOOT DRIVE.” Soot “disagrees.”

Log #539 – Yellowstone Picnic Area

Report by Agent Drift

Ants arranged bread crumbs in shape of “502.” Pines now blames ants for everything missing.

Log #540 – Hidden Falls

Report by Agent Pines

Heard faint singing. Agent Echo’s alibi: “Wasn’t me this time.” Song: ███████.

Log #541 – Yellowstone Lake

Report by Agent Ember

Observed floating log circle. Labeled as “Lantern protocol.” Team requested marshmallows.

Log #542 – Lamar Ranger Station

Report by Agent Sable

All radios played Psalm 91 on loop at midnight. Recording redacted by Director Pines.

Log #543 – Gibbon Falls

Report by Agent Soot

Observed rainbow at night. Quill requests permission to study further. Director Pines: “File the paperwork.”

Log #544 – Upper Geyser Basin

Report by Agent Glint

All sunglasses vanished for six hours. Returned as “limited edition.” Agents skeptical.

Log #545 – Firehole Drive

Report by Intern Moss

Field vehicle replaced by rowboat. No water present. Pines requested diagram of events.

Log #546 – Canyon Village

Report by Junior Agent Sprout

All vending machines dispensed only peanut butter cups. Sable “requested field sample for study.”

Log #547 – Lone Star Geyser

Report by Agent Ember

Heard rhythmic thumping under boardwalk. Agent Drift claims “normal geyser.” Soot believes otherwise.

Log #548 – Slough Creek

Report by Agent Quill

Trout returned to stream bearing note. Note redacted: ██████.

Log #549 – East Gate

Report by Agent Pines

Gate sign altered: “Welcome Agents.” Rook suspects “secret squirrel division.”

Log #550 – Swan Lake Flats

Report by Agent Drift

Observed swan carrying lantern slip. Slip text unreadable except for the following: ████████.

Log #551 – Roosevelt Lodge

Report by Agent Glint

All salt shakers refilled with sugar. Suspect: Agent Cinder, denies “all involvement, this time.”

Log #552 – Bechler Meadows

Report by Agent Tern

Heard “quacking” at midnight. No waterfowl present. Pines requests further study. Tern requests earplugs.

Log #553 – Pelican Creek

Report by Agent Fawn

All field guides annotated in green ink. Annotation: “Not a pelican.”

Log #554 – Gibbon River

Report by Agent Flint

Fish “jumped in rhythm.” Video redacted for “musical content.”

Log #555 – Norris Dorms

Report by Agent Hollow

All pillows on ceiling. Suspect: gravity anomaly or Sprout’s latest project.

Log #556 – Mammoth Dining Hall

Report by Agent Pines

Every tray bore sticker: “Property of Unit 7-B.” Sable denies distribution. Wren: “I want a sticker.”

Log #557 – Yellowstone Lake Dock

Report by Agent Drift

Dock ropes braided into Morse code: “TELL MOSS TO BRING SNACKS.”

Log #558 – Hidden Falls Trail

Report by Agent Fawn

Observed deer “bowing” toward sunrise. Soot says it’s a “family tradition.”

Log #559 – Yellowstone River

Report by Agent Echo

Field notebook found sealed in wax. Redacted page reads: ████████.

Log #560 – Buffalo Ford

Report by Agent Flint

Bison “posed” for group photo. Image blurred except for word: ██████.

Log #561 – Gibbon Falls

Report by Agent Ember

Saw waterfall. Tried to take photo. Dropped camera in stream. Camera “swims well.”

Log #562 – Lamar Valley

Report by Agent Ember

Counted “probably 50” bison. Bison would not stand still for full count. Attempted negotiations. Result: █████.

Log #563 – Upper Geyser Basin

Report by Agent Ember

Tested hot spring with toe. Can confirm: hot. Now missing one sock. Sock status: ██████.

Log #564 – Mammoth Campground

Report by Agent Ember

Tried to roast marshmallows. Marshmallow burst into flame, stuck to radio. Radio now smells delicious.

Log #565 – West Thumb

Report by Agent Ember

Saw sign for “Thumb Paint Pots.” No thumbs found. Painted big toe as backup.

Log #566 – Grant Village

Report by Agent Ember

Attempted to check in at front desk. Accidentally checked in raccoon. He requested “extra towels.”

Log #567 – Artist Point

Report by Agent Ember

Tried to paint the view. Ran out of blue. Substituted grape jelly. Attracted wasp. Would not recommend.

Log #568 – Hayden Valley

Report by Agent Ember

Heard singing. Sang along. Turned out to be field radio. Director Pines “not amused.”

Log #569 – Yellowstone Lake

Report by Agent Ember

Attempted to skip stones. Accidentally skipped field badge. Badge recovery: pending.

Log #570 – Firehole River

Report by Agent Ember

Tried to fish. Hooked own boot. Caught nothing but attention from passing ranger.

Log #571 – Norris Geyser Basin

Report by Agent Ember

Investigated steam vent. Glasses fogged instantly. Walked into pine tree. Tree unharmed.

Log #572 – Pelican Creek

Report by Agent Ember

Tried to count pelicans. Counted same pelican three times. Final count: “Many.”

Log #573 – Canyon Village

Report by Agent Ember

Filed incident report on self: spilled coffee on own notebook. Notebook “now smells alert.”

Log #574 – Slough Creek

Report by Agent Ember

Attempted to photograph trout. Lens cap on entire time. Trout unimpressed.

Log #575 – Tower Junction

Report by Agent Ember

Asked raven for directions. Raven stared silently for five minutes. Directions unclear.

Log #576 – Obsidian Cliff

Report by Agent Ember

Collected “rare” black rock. Turned out to be field radio from Log #564. “Hello again, radio.”

Log #577 – Lamar Bison Range

Report by Agent Ember

Attempted bison census using snacks. Bison ate snacks, not census forms. Lesson learned.

Log #578 – Norris Dorms

Report by Agent Ember

Set up tent. Realized set up tent indoors. Relocated tent outside. Success rate: 50%.

Log #579 – Blacktail Plateau

Report by Agent Ember

Lantern slip found: “STOP TRYING SO HARD.” Unsure if for me, but message received.

Log #580 – Lake Hotel

Report by Agent Ember

Tried to blend in as “normal guest.” Blended in with lost-and-found instead. Found old pair of socks.

Log #581 – Midway Basin

Report by Agent Ember

Filled entire notebook with doodles of “possible” Syndicate logos. Pines says “stop helping.”

Log #582 – Yellowstone River

Report by Agent Ember

Dropped pen in river. Fished out two pens and a spoon. Not my pen. Spoon adopted.

Log #583 – Old Faithful

Report by Agent Ember

Tried to time eruption. Watch battery died at “exact moment.” Assumed accurate.

Log #584 – Geyser Grill

Report by Agent Ember

Ordered “field agent special.” Received grilled cheese with note: "Not a real thing".

Log #585 – Norris Restrooms

Report by Agent Ember

Discovered every soap dispenser empty except one, filled with grape jelly. Scent: “field-tested.”

Log #586 – Administrative Action: Agent Ember

Report by Director Pines

This log serves as formal documentation of today’s disciplinary review of Agent Ember, following her latest spree of, as I am told, “helpful” field logs (see Logs #561–585, and honestly, most entries marked ‘Ember’ this quarter).

Summary of incident: At approximately 11:08 am, the administrative desk received its 17th notification of the day that “Agent Ember has posted a new log.” Upon review, these logs included such critical intelligence as: Ember attempting to negotiate with bison, Ember losing socks in geysers, Ember blending in with the lost-and-found at Lake Hotel, Ember drawing an entire notebook full of “Syndicate logos” (for the record, one was just a badly-drawn raccoon with sunglasses), and Ember adopting a spoon from the Yellowstone River, believing it to be “field equipment.”

After careful consideration (and several deep breaths), I summoned Agent Ember to my office (again). The following points were addressed:

• Logs must pertain to actual field phenomena, not the agent’s lost-and-found adventures.
• Feeding census forms to bison is not an approved survey technique.
• Blending in with the lost-and-found is neither a field tactic nor an appropriate use of agent time.
• Not every “found” spoon is a potential coded message from the Syndicate.
• Grape jelly is not a substitute for hand soap. (Nor is it an acceptable field ration.)
• Attempting to check in a raccoon as a hotel guest, even if he “requests extra towels,” is not protocol.

Log #587 – Response to Administrative Action

Filed by Agent Ember

In response to Director Pines’ very formal (and slightly dramatic?) disciplinary action, I would like to clarify a few points:

1. The raccoon absolutely requested extra towels.
2. That spoon felt important. I stand by my field intuition.
3. Bison respond surprisingly well to census forms (though they did eat pages 3–7).
4. I will try to keep future logs strictly “phenomenological.” Unless a pinecone tells me otherwise.

As instructed, I am attaching my official apology letter. It may be slightly pinecone-themed, as required by my creative process.

Attachment – Pinecone Apology Letter

Filed by Agent Ember

Dear Director Pines,

I, Agent Ember, hereby issue my sincerest apologies for any confusion, distraction, or unnecessary paperwork caused by my recent flurry of logs (and for the jam incident in the North Gate restroom; I thought it was hand soap).

Please accept this drawing of a pinecone wearing sunglasses (see below) as a gesture of goodwill and my promise to only submit field logs that meet the highest Unit 7-B standards:

   (\_/)
  ( •_•)
  /    \
(Pinecone in shades)

I vow to channel my boundless curiosity into logs that are useful, accurate, and (occasionally) less about spoons and raccoons. Thank you for the feedback and for not reassigning me to Raccoon Surveillance Duty (again).

Pinecones up!
— Agent Ember

Log #601 – Norris Picnic Area

Filed by Junior Agent Rook (training Agent Ember)

Today, under my direct supervision, Agent Ember correctly identified a picnic table as a “stationary wooden object with potential for wildlife activity.”
No sightings, no misplaced field equipment, no mention of spoons. Progress noted.

Log #602 – Upper Geyser Basin

Filed by Junior Agent Rook (training Agent Ember)

Ember observed geyser eruption at 10:16 am.
Description: “Water shot up. Steam present. Guests impressed.”
No tangents. No attempts to “befriend” the geyser. Field notes improving.

Log #603 – Madison River Trail

Filed by Junior Agent Rook (training Agent Ember)

Agent Ember spotted bison from safe distance, recorded number observed (17), and did not attempt communication.
Log includes no snack-related incidents.
Marked as “protocol compliant.”

Log #604 – Blacktail Deer Plateau

Filed by Junior Agent Rook (training Agent Ember)

Ember used field binoculars correctly and reported sighting of mule deer.
No equipment lost, traded, or “adopted.”
Recommend mild celebration.

Log #605 – Mammoth Field Office

Filed by Junior Agent Rook (training Agent Ember)

Training report: Agent Ember completed log entry using only observable facts.
No pinecones, raccoons, or commentary on hand soap.
As her supervising agent, I approve this log (and suggest we call it a day before she finds another spoon).

Log #606 – Yellowstone River Bend

Filed by Agent Ember (unsupervised, briefly)

Observed strange ripples on the river at 8:23 am. At first, I thought it was just wind, but then the ripples formed a pattern that looked like the Unit 7-B sigil… or maybe a squirrel?

I tried to get a photo for evidence, but my phone battery died exactly as I pressed the button. Threw a pinecone in the water to see what would happen (for science).

The pinecone floated, which I believe is significant. No other agents present to confirm. If someone finds my notebook (it may have gone in the river), please return it to lost-and-found.

(Director Pines, if you’re reading this: I did my best! – Ember)

Log #610 – Administrative Action: Agent Ember

Report by Director Pines

Agent Ember has been reassigned to Raccoon Surveillance Duty... again.